Obviously, I suck at blogging.
I’m a decent writer, but thank God this isn’t my bread and butter or my family would be emaciated by now. I love writing; in fact, I think of at least 10 things to write about a day. But in the day-to-day functions of my family, they get pushed aside. I’m ok with that. I’m also a lot more OK with a lot of things. So here goes.
* The house can be a mess and the world goes on. Obviously, my goal is that everyone has clean underwear or diapers, work clothes are accessible, and there’s at least some semblance of clean utensils to eat/drink on. Everything else is a bonus.
* I will never stop worrying. I know Jesus was talking to the world at large when he said, “Don’t worry about what you will wear, etc.” He wasn’t talking to moms: he knew we would keep worrying. In the last ten months, I’ve never thought a second about what I would wear. I have worrying a billion times about having something for the baby to wear, if anything would fit him, if he was warm enough, if he was comfortable, if he didn’t look like the orphans or poverty stricken photos of children because his shirt is stained and won’t come out.
* Banana stains. Who the hell knew that before you have a baby? You don’t. You know why? Because before a baby, you just ate the banana.
* I haven’t thought this much about what I was eating since loooong before rehab for my eating disorder. Seriously: is it ok to drink coffee? Is this too spicy? Does this have any nutrients that are really good for milk? Is any of this an allergen to a new body? What about dairy? What about hormones? Sheesh… Now, fortunately, I’ve almost always eaten very well. Blame it on 30 years of dance training and knowing that food=fuel and you will get out of your body what you put in it, but we don’t buy junk food. Ever. But it kicked into high gear when I was building a human from scratch and then feeding a human with everything my body intakes.
* I absolutely HATE to watch the news. I didn’t like it before, but now, everything from news articles on Facebook to local news has some article on child abuse, a rabid daycare center, or a child death. It’s enough to make me want to run to my sleeping baby, and just hold him for the rest of his life.
* I’ve become more judgmental and then less judgmental of every parenting practice you see. As I’ve said before, I live in a very rural city. There are things that I see that I will never, ever, EVER, do. And then there are things that I see occasionally that I will never, ever, ever, do – and then promptly do them.
* I haven’t purchased new clothes in months; my son has a great wardrobe. I’m totally fine with that. I have purchased new shoes for a body that cannot walk.
* I am obsessed with cloth diapers. Sorry-not-sorry.
* I’m the mean mommy; he doesn’t get junk food, cookies, or ice cream. His newest love is mom’s fruit smoothie and all natural peanut butter. He will probably not know what a crappy McDonald’s chicken nugget tastes like, Kraft Mac n’ Cheese, or Kool-Aid will taste like for a very, very long time. I’m fine with that. He loves momma’s mac n’cheese, mom’s nuggets, and applesauce. He’s ten months, and over 22 pounds. I think he’ll be ok.
* I’ve never been this bonded or in love with something that beats the crap out of me, bites me, yanks my hair, yells in my ear, scratches my eyes, and keeps me awake for days at a time. If anyone else did that, they wouldn’t stay around long.
* I’ve never questioned my beliefs, values, or sanity like this in my life.
* I’ve never been this in love with my husband. Seeing him as a father is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
* I only blog when I’m procrastinating folding the laundry 🙂
See you guys soon.