Do YOU need respect lessons?

My job is pretty awesome. I get to people-watch in courtrooms, and fight the urge to yell, “Jer-ry! Jer-ry!” at some of the parents. I get to drive around a few different cities, and am very seldom trapped in an office. Except for when I have to do paperwork (and NO ONE hates paperwork more than me) I rarely even use a computer. The world of blogging has been a comfort and a blessing. I get to stare at a little white screen and pretend that millions of people will soon swoon over my obvious writing skills and pass it on to others that will do the same.

Think “A Christmas Story” – Digital Version.

Except by the time I come home, all the cool ideas I’ve had for a blog during the day get lost in the maze of spaghetti that is my female brain. Lost forever. But this one has been rattling in there for a while. As so many of our friends here are doing the Respect Dare by Nina Roesner, and many of my clients are being escorted through the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, it occurred to me. There are WAY more people that are doing things half-right. So, in light of my very own experience with the Online Marriage Evaluation, I prepared a short questionnaire that may lead you to see if any of this stuff is for you – or if you’re doing it perfectly.

And if you’re doing it perfectly, stop reading my blog and get your own. I have a feeling it’s the same ones of you that can fit into your highschool jeans. Go eat a cookie or something. The grown-ups in the room would like to talk.

1) Are you nice to the waiter/waitress, but rude to your spouse at dinner?

2) Would you ever speak to your dog/cat/goldfish in the manner you speak to your spouse?

3) Do you and your spouse have separate bank accounts because you (or they) have trust issues?

4) Do you have a 5 year plan written out together? What about a Dream Plan?

5) Are you or your spouse inventing reasons, volunteering for activities or overtime – just so you don’t have to come home?

6) When was the last time there was a good ‘rustle under those covers?

It’s not an exhaustive list, by any means. But I see a LOT of families a day. I see mostly families that are in some serious trouble – enough that when they come to me all I get is: “THEY’RE the problem (pointing at the kiddo) and YOU need to fix them.”

That kiddo isn’t usually the problem. They’re usually the symptom. They’re the running nose, the cough, or the fever. They’re the sign that something else is seriously wrong. Sometimes it’s “just” drug abuse or alcohol, and they’ve made some stupid choices. Most of the time it’s because dad (or mom) is in jail, Mom (or Dad) has made some seriously selfish mistakes because of their own entitlement, or a combination of all of the above.

And a lot of it comes from a lack of respect.

If you’re saying that they don’t deserve respect, then I suggest that you check out this little gem right here. Odds are most of us don’t deserve respect. I don’t actually “respect” my dog, but I’m pretty nice to him. In all fairness, he’s a seriously awesome dog. But if I’m nicer to the dog than my husband, I need an attitude check. If I’m really nice to the server who has been so generous to refill my water 18 times, but the second they turn their back, I’m pouncing on my husband’s eating habits, what kind of message does that send?

Maybe the world does need a little more respect. I know mine can always use more, and I have the best husband on the friggin’ planet.