Holy Spirit Parenting 101

There’s been more controversy over parenting styles in the last year than the Benghazi scandal.

There’s the Attachment Parenting Style, the Hug-A-Tree-Love-A-Bunny Style of Parenting, the Authoritarian/Authoritative Style, Helicopter Parenting (I kid you not – Google it) and the list goes on. But the most controversial of all of them is the Babywise/Ezzo method of doing stuff.

The people that love it claim that it has gotten their kiddos on a schedule. They sleep, eat, and cry less. Also, the children are doing well.

The people that hate it have very, very good reasons to hate it. Some of the kiddos raised in this method have developed RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) and have some serious consequences.

I am not doing any of these. But as someone who is a constant researcher, I have become quite eclectic in everything I do: counseling, clothing style, and now, parenting.

Please don’t get me wrong. I KNOW that I know nothing. That’s what makes this so fun. I love asking questions, and hearing the answers. And for now, what works for us is patterns, not styles.

My son just turned one month old on Saturday. His greatest accomplishments so far are that he came out of the womb holding his head up and looking around. He loves his Boppy, and loves being propped up in it so he can watch everything around him. He HATES having a wet diaper; also, changing said diaper. There’s no win there. He also doesn’t sleep for more than 30-45 minutes during the day. So, all of those people that tell you to “sleep when the baby sleeps” need a good, solid, smacking. You can’t sleep for 30 minutes and accomplish anything.

I tell my husband that I can accomplish 3 things per day.

1. Eat
2. Laundry
3. Dishes
4. Floors
5. Fold the above laundry
6. Sleep
7. Shower
8. Pump so my boobies do not explode
9. Cook dinner

I can pick any of these three, but it cannot exceed that number.

And, honestly, I was going literally insane. I was tired to the point of hallucination, and in so much pain that I could barely walk across my house. I kept thinking that I was supposed to be doing something different than what I was doing, and it was driving me crazy.

So, at one of the many 1am, 2am, 2:30am, 3:30am, and 5am moments where I found myself awake, I just started to cry, and whine. And get so angry at my husband for things he hasn’t even done yet… and cry some more… And then it hit me:

Praying, Napping, Listening intently to Jesus

Pray. Not just pray, but PRAY… Seek after His Face and His Heart. Talk to your Dad, and get HIS PARENTING ADVICE.

Maybe, just maybe, the God who gave me this gift would know how to operate it.

So, I started researching again. This time, instead of looking for “What Am I Doing Wrong?” I looked for “What Can I Do Well?” and “What Might Work for Our Family.” Not a guarantee or a hug-the-bunny-it-turns-into-a-unicorn moment. Just a guideline.

It worked.

Why was I surprised?

I was literally surprised when prayer started working. Seriously?

Something crazy started happening: he started sleeping, crying less, and eating with regularity. He was never doing poorly: he’s been gaining almost a pound a week. But I could never keep up with him, and felt like I was being dragged around by him. Now, I know what he needs before he needs it, and I feel like I know what to expect.

So, I will probably start editing the Page Holy Spirit Parenting 101 more often, just as the Lord leads, with lessons that I’ve learned as a brand new mommy. I’m sure it’s stuff that most know already, but it’s new to me. I know that a lot of this is a learning curve, and that there’s no way to research, read books, and study up on this stuff. But I’m slowly learning to ask my Dad what my baby needs. And everyone knows Dads give the best advice anyway.